These agreements are attributed to Visions, East Bay Meditation Center, and Heartwood CHA BIPOC Mindfulness.
MAKE SPACE / TAKE SPACE: Take note of who is speaking and who is not. Notice who is in the room and who is not, and why that might be. Consider the various factors that contribute to full participation in a group, and how this might affect your engagement in it. For example, if you hold a more oppressed or disempowered identity, or tend to be a more silenced voice in a given conversation, consider “taking space." If you tend to speak often, consider “making space."
TRY IT ON: Be willing to “try on” new ideas, or ways of doing things that might not be what you prefer or are familiar with.
PRACTICE HUMILITY THROUGH SELF-FOCUS: Attend to and speak about your own experiences and responses. Do not speak for a whole group or express assumptions about the experience of others.** Acknowledging that biases may arise in the mind (as a result of various causes and conditions), invite your speech and action not to manifest these biases to avoid causing harm.
UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN INTENT AND IMPACT: Try to understand and acknowledge impact. Denying the impact of something said by focusing on intent is often more destructive than the initial interaction.
PRACTICE “BOTH / AND”: When speaking, consider substituting “and” for “but.” This practice acknowledges and honors multiple realities.
REFRAIN FROM BLAMING OR SHAMING SELF & OTHERS: Practice giving skillful feedback. This may include inviting compassion and recognizing associated causes and conditions.
PRACTICE MINDFUL PARTICIPATION: Participate with integrity in whatever way is accessible and appropriate for a community member. This includes a “right to pass” if you do not wish to speak. This may also include camera off, stepping away from the group, trusting the needs of your body-heart-mind rather than a given script or expectation.
PRACTICE MINDFUL LISTENING: Try to avoid planning what you’ll say as you listen to others. Be willing to be surprised, to learn something new. Listen with your whole self.
CONFIDENTIALITY: Take home learnings but don’t identify anyone other than yourself, now or later. If you want to follow up with anyone regarding something they said in this session, ask first and respect their wishes.